11.9.09 - Stephanie AM

It was a bit of a busy weekend... We had a wedding on Saturday. I had 4.5 glasses of wine. Whoops! lol! It was an "in-laws" wedding so can you blame me? I had a BLAST!!! haha. Then I got home and ate too much, which is typical with me and alcohol. On Sunday, I had a great breakfast and then ate so much at lunch that I felt disgustingly full most of the day.

And then this is when I realized I am just rock bottom. I went to Wal-mart for some groceries and a few other items. Walking into the store I realized that my jeans are now high-waters because my stomach and butt have gotten so big, my jeans are now too short. It made me feel like absolute shit.

Then as I was in the check-out line, I run into my husband and child. Talk about strange and upsetting for that to happen. Then we had to say bye and Stella was crying....ugh. I came home and just sat and stared at the wall for a bit. I'm over this. ALL of this. I've gotta get my life back on track.

I ate dinner late last night because I was so full all day. Had a good dinner but then ate 500 cheese-itz while watching TV. My MAJOR trigger. I could eat 10,000 calories while watching TV. It's like my favorite hobby - I "save" meals for times when I know I will be by myself with the TV. It's disgusting.

So anyway, I have joined an online community called "Normal Eating." I am reading the book and it's the first book I TOTALLY identify with. So I paid the $35 lifetime membership (put it on the credit card - bad!)and joined the forum for support and ideas. I hope to get very involved over there so those who are experienced in the book's stages can help me. But I'll be here too. :)